::: Pleasure Cruise :::

Husband: oh sh*t!

Wife: what's wrong?

Husband: oh, it's nothing. I just realized I forgot to bring something.

Wife: what is it?

Husband: it's nothing, really, I can do without it.

Wife: so, tell me what it is.

Husband: it's not important. I don’t have to have it. besides, when we get back home it will be waiting there.

Wife: I am just curious, that’s all. you brought it up.

Husband: I didn't bring it up. I just said "oh, sh*t". then you said, "what's wrong?" and "what is it?" I just wanted to drop it after "oh, sh*t"!

Wife: then why did you say "oh sh*t" out loud if you didn't want to talk about it?

Husband: it was more of a guttural response caused by the surprise of the realization that I forgot something.

Wife: "oh sh*t" sounded pretty goddamned clear to me! and why wont you tell me what it is that you forgot to bring? maybe it can be replaced right here on ship?

Husband: it can't be replaced.

Wife: so, let me get this right; it's "not important" yet it can't be replaced?

Husband: not here on the ship.

Wife: when we go ashore I will go to a store and get you another one if you just fricking tell me what it is!

Husband: I said I didn't have to have it. it is only that it would be nice to have it and probably make the cruise more enjoyable. besides, it comes from a special store.

Wife: so you are not going to tell me what "it" is, but you will tantalize me with the idea that whatever-it-is comes from a special store? you know what? f*ck you. just f*ck you.

Husband: so, all I said was "oh sh*t" and now you are telling me to get f*cked?

Wife: "oh sh*t" was not the only thing you said, and it's what you are not telling me that is pissing me off! I am starting to think that this whatever-it-is-you-forgot-to-bring doesn't really exist and you are just f*cking with my head because you are insidious, mean-spirited and hateful.

Husband: I don't even know how to respond to that.

Wife: how about telling me what "it" is!

Husband: okay. you know what? I will tell you what "it" is because now I just don't give a sh*t about someone who calls me insidious, mean-spirited and hateful. a pocket pussy. yeah, I forgot to bring my goddamned pocket pussy! there!

Wife: a pocket pussy?
Husband: yes! a pocket pussy!

Wife: I cant believe this.

Husband: oh, believe it!

Wife: you have a pocket pussy in our house?

Husband: you had to know what "it" is and now you know, so can we finally drop this?

Wife: drop this? just drop this? I can't believe you even own one of those disgusting, disturbing, sicko...oh my god!

Husband: can we change the subject?

Wife: you scream at me, "pocket pussy! Pocket pussy!" and you want me to change the subject? I am deeply disturbed by this. Oh my god, you said earlier you wished you had it with you because it would make our cruise more enjoyable? Were you thinking of actually using it on our cruise for Christ’s sake? Oh my god! Then you said that it would be waiting for you at home?! Is that what you look forward to when going home everyday? Who did I marry? i don't even know you! So, do you talk to your little pocket pussy? do you dress it up, you sick f*ck?!

Husband: no. it's just a basic model.

Wife: a basic model? a basic model? Husband: yeah, it's not like it has life-like hair on it or squirts or comes with the "Japanese schoolgirl" option.

Wife: I cannot believe I am hearing this. how big is it?

Husband: it’s just a basic model!

Wife: where is it?!

Husband: I, uh, don’t know.

Wife: Where is it?! I want it out of my house right now even if I have to call the police and have them bust down the front door and have it removed!

Husband: Why are you making such a big deal of this?

Wife: So, does your lovely little pocket pussy have a name?

Husband: I don't talk to it. no.

Wife: oh my god, I actually offered to go to a store and get you another one. So, what do you do with your lovely little pocket pussy anyway?

Husband: What does anybody do with one?

Wife: I don’t care what "anybody" does with their pocket pussy, I want to know what you do with it!

Husband: It is just natural, normal and healthy. You are blowing this way out of proportion. Millions of pocket pussies are sold around the world every year.

Wife: so, this is man's big secret? The pocket pussy. Millions a year. I can't believe this. Jesus...oh sh*t!

Husband: what's wrong?
Wife: oh, it's nothing, I just forgot to bring something.

Written by: ~ Booger Hank

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