::12:13:07::

::: Raising A Man :::

Remember it like it was yesterday
Christmas time when I was nine
Ma was out shopping for me
I was back home on grandpas knee
Only watching cartoons on TV
Before I could think, he was on top of me
So, with my innocence left there on the floor
I sat on the other side of the bathroom door
I cried
I tried
To wash the sin from my skin
Color was red
Water was cold and yeah I tried to be bold but
At nine years old my heart grew cold

Then at sweet sixteen
I met the man of my dreams
Swept me right of my feet and
I was open y’all
Sneakin’ round town
Showin’ off the man I found
My body reacted to the way he laid it down
So I thought to myself “Oh yeah this must be love”.
Then the seed was planted… stirring emotions as my belly grew
Oh and I just knew that this was love but
As it turns out you see
The man I thought would save me... only saved himself
No goodbye
No “hate to see you cry”
Only footsteps down the street
He left with two hearts underneath his feet

By the time I turned eighteen
My mind had been opened to a world unseen.
”yeah girl hit those streets”
Try your luck
Only trying to grab a buck and
Holdin’ hands
With the old man who only promised dinner but
When your body and baby’s growin thinner
Try to forget the things you left behind like
A baby’s cry

Now, I work hard day and night
Try to provide a better life (than I have)
Crossin’ fingers hoping for better day
So I pray
”God, please send some better days my way”
Cuz I am just a child trying to raise a man

Although time may go
I hope he never knows
What I had to do to get us through
I carry hate but
For his sake...
I think I’ll raise him in love
I am still
Just a girl
Raisin’ a man
Doing the best that
I can.

Written by: ~ SoftHoney